In this blog I want to pay tribute to my cat Nela who I lost on August 27, 2011.  She had started out as my pet and became family.  Only a real pet lover knows how devastating it is to loose that pet.  She was the first pet who was truly mine.  She was a loud, obnoxious and loving cat who shared my pillow at night and would meow at the top of her lungs when her food bowl wasn't filled to her liking or I hadn't cleaned the cat box the way that she liked.  On her last morning when I wrapped her in a towel to carry her out of the house for the last time she trustingly placed her head on my shoulder confident that I would do was what right by her and I did.  I was in the room for her last moments of life.  It was only fair to her because if I had been there for her from the very beginning I needed to be there for her at the end.  I had her cremated.  I wasn't planning on having her cremated but in speaking to my brother it made realize what a good choice that made.  I don't plan to set up an altar with her container when she comes home on Thursday.  But I've realized that even just having her ashes nearby is enough to ease some of the pain in my chest.
                    On Sunday I awoke looking for her.  I had spent Saturday crying for her and much of Sunday was the same.  I see her out of the corner or my eye sometimes and feel her presence next to her.  My heart hurts.  It feels like someone ripped it out of my chest and stomped on it.  I miss her more now than when I first lost her even though I know I did the right thing.  Nela's backlegs had been paralyzed by a blood clot.  She had wet herself.  No matter how heart renching it was for me there was no way I was going to let her suffer.  I just wish she had gone in a much gentler manner.
                   Rest in peace dear Nela.  I love you and I will always miss.  I will never forget you.